Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Och. Mein. Gott.

Earlier in the year a lady I met through our shop who told me she was getting married in the new year.  She's 75 and getting married for the second time (her first husband passed away a number of years ago) to a lovely man she met through her volunteer work selling raffle tickets for the Mater Children's Hospital.  She was wanting to know if I knew a cake decorator who could make her cake.  I put up my hand and offered my services.  She was stoked. 

Fast forward a couple of months and I'd managed to narrow her down on style, size, shape and colours etc for the cake - everything was going to plan.

Then it sort of went pear shaped for her.  Her fiance's family, for one reason or another, have all pulled out of the wedding leaving the bridal party one matron short (can't call them bridesmaids when they're all married now can you).  So the hunt was on for a replacement.

I was nominated, asked and added to the bridal party in quick succession.  Happy days.

Today I received the dress.  

Made to fit the redundant family member who is clearly not as hippy nor as busty as I am, I have my work cut out for me in order for it to fit.  I do have the option (which will be happening regardless) of letting out a few seams but they are not that generous to start with so the only other option remaining for me is some serious exercise and some really serious watching what I'm eating until the wedding.  That and some hardcore body slimming underwear as well.

So there you have it.  I have been looking for something to motivate me to stick to an exercise plan and to encourage me to eat better for longer than a couple of weeks (my won't-power is seriously weak) and the potential to be immortalised for all time in someone's wedding photos wearing a dress that clings in the most unflattering way around my thighs (shiny tafetta no less!!!) is enough to scare the bejeezus out of me and get me on that wagon as quick as I can!

I'm hoping the approaching silly season and its myriad of temptations won't destroy my plans too much (my family are notorious for putting on the most sugar-laden, high-fat spreads known to man so I'm scared.  Very scared.)

Anyone have any suggestions for exercises to tone up and trim down the maximus gluteous?  


  1. Sounds like great motivation Shelley.
    How long have you got to the big day?
    If you're really, really serious about getting in shape, there is a program called 'Insanity' (google it), that comes in the form of DVD's that you exercise to in front of the tele, guaranteed to knock you into the best shape of your life in 60 days. It isn't for everyone, but it does work.

  2. Oh that has made me giggle so much - what a way to slim down! But what on earth are the family pulling out troubles? Who pulls out of the wedding of a 75 year old?!

  3. How long do you have? I suggest you get your butt in gear. Walk, run, bike, watch what you eat and move everyday. Google Kettlebell workouts, and either buy a 10lb. (whatever that translates into for kilos.) kettlebell or the equivalent amount for a dumbbell and do some of those exercises. That will tone your whole body and burn lots of calories. You must commit to doing it at least three days/week to see results.


  4. Fiona, it is FANTASTIC motivation for me! The wedding is Feb 18 so I have plenty of time (or not, given my past history of slacking)....I'll google 'insanity' now. Exercising in front of the telly takes me back to being 16 and doing Aerobics Oz Style in the lounge room before school - oh the lycra and boofy hair! I'm sure it's all changed now!

    Ali - I have no idea what the family troubles are (don't want to know to tell you the truth) but I agree - what sort of person pulls out of a 75 year old's wedding? And even more so when there are health issues involved to make this wedding and its joyful union even more special for the couple. People astound me.

    Marianne - thanks for your advice. To tell you the truth I was going to send you an email for some suggestions....and also to get you on my team cos you know, once I put it out there that I'm going to do something I need as many people to keep on my back and I reckon you'd be good at this!

  5. Girl, you met a 75 year old lady through your shop, offered to make her a cake, and now you're her matron of honour and have to fit into a dress two sizes too small? I'm not, I'm not.. ;-)

    Good luck with the program. Personally, I think shapeware is the way to go. And I agree with Ali, who pulls out of a 75 year old's wedding, particularly if it was someone who was important enough to be the matron of honour?

  6. Celia, sometimes I shake my own head at the situations I find myself in! But truly, how could I say no to a 75 year old bride-to-be whose family has done the dirty on her? I just couldn't.


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