Bittersweet

It's been a whole year already.  How time flies.

On this day a whole long 12 months ago the LOML and I were gearing up to fly out of the country on a one-way ticket to Kuala Lumpur.  Bags were packed, house was clean, fridge was empty, chores were assigned to various family members - chooks, lawn, mail, veggie patch...  

We didn't know when we would be back, how long we would be away.  We had a vague idea of where we wanted to go, a pocketful of cash and credit cards, and no reason to come back anytime soon. It was great!

So on this afternoon, waiting for the hours to tick by until our flight left, we were entertaining family and friends for the evening in the form of a farewell BBQ.  Unfortunately for us it was raining, quite heavily, so the party had to move inside - twelve people crammed around our dining table dodging leaks from the ceiling! Fun but not so comfortable!  The BBQ still went ahead though - it just wasn't me outside cooking it!

It was a lovely send-off.  Lots of laughter and jokes and story-telling.  Everyone was so happy (we were bouncing out of our skins we were so excited!). I still get a warm feeling in me when I think about it.

The only thing is that this was the last time I got to see my dad before he passed.  I had planned to go and see him after we got back, to show him our photos and tell him our stories, but before I knew it I was too late.  So this is my final memory of him.  A pleasant and happy one for sure, but somehow it seems.....not right, unplanned...I can't explain it in words.

This year will be tough I know for this sort of thing - lots of firsts and lots of lasts - last time I saw him, first birthday without him etc.  Next year should be easier, hopefully.

A happy day tinged now with a lot of sadness.