This morning I am looking after my adorable baby nephew for my SIL who has some chores to do and will get them done a whole lot quicker if she's flying solo.
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| a few days old..little angel |
He is my newest nephew and, at two months old, is good enough to eat (not that I would, but he is so squishable!). He and I just had a 'discussion' over sleeptime - he was very vocal, proposed some well rounded arguments, however I won and he's currently out like a light, sleeping sweet baby dreams.
I am fortunate to have a sister and SIL who are happy to let me, and the LOML, be active in their children's lives. Why is that so important? Well, the LOML and I decided a number of years ago that having kids of our own wasn't something we wanted.
For a whole number of reasons (there's one to upset EVERYONE in the world I'm sure) we, as independent, mature adults came to the mutual decision not to have children. For some reason, this seems to upset a lot of people. And they can get quite nasty about it too. So without going into the reasons (unless, you know, you want to be offended.....), here is an example of how conversations regarding our progeny (or lack of) have a tendency to go....
Other: How long have you been married?
Me: Coming up 8 years
Other: How many kids?
Me: None
Other: Give it time, you'll get there.
Me: No time needed, we're not having children.
Other: You'll change your mind.
Me: No. We won't*.
Other: Don't leave it too late.
Me: Never too late. Not having kids.
Other: You'll regret not having them.
Me: Always a possibility, but I doubt it. I'm willing to take that risk. I'd much rather get to the end of my life regretting not having children than regretting having them.
Other: But you have to have kids.
Me: Says who?
Other: But you're married...
Me: So?
Other: Tha's just selfish.
Me: Yes. Yes it is.
....and so on, and so on, and so on....you get the picture.
For our own reasons we are not having kids. End of story.
Not because we don't like kids - we do, we love kids. Just not enough to have our own.
Thanks for your understanding and acceptance of our life choice. :)
*as always there is a footnote.....we, as mature adults, always reserve the right to change our mind, for our own reasons, without judgement from others. Not that we will. Just saying, you know, in case....
I had #1 a month before I turned 20, so my entire adult life has been as a mom. The upside is that by the time I'm 50, I'll have them all grown and out of my house. That's still young, and my husband and I will really have the time together that we didn't get before we started having kids.
ReplyDeleteI think that if I had been responsible way back then, I might not have ended up having kids at all. I am selfish. Maybe I shouldn't have had kids. But I do. I love them too. I'll just be glad when I don't have to parent them anymore.
Good for you to know how you feel about the subject and for being confident enough to be unapologetic about it. I must admit to a small twinge of jealousy.
And that baby?!? He's adorable!