Let's talk about sex....

...in the garden.

RELAX...not about me having sex in the garden - phew!!!

No, let me tell you about the vegetable sex that is currently going on out there in my yard.  Naughty stuff!  Truly outrageous! Ris-que!

To set the scene.....the sun is peeking out behind the clouds, the breeze is blowing gently rustling the leaves of orange trees in a glorious morning tune, the birds are tweeting, the bees are buzzing.....and the pumpkins are getting DO-WN with it (cue Barry White 'my darlin I, can't get enough of your love baby'). 

Well, with this sort of reproducing-enticing scenario, they should be all over it.....but they're not.  The male flowers are all out early, blooming and ready for action but the ladies, well let's just say they're just not that keen for it.  I don't know what's been going on this last week or two but all the female flowers have been withering on the stems - not a fruiting to be had. Very disappointing. 

So I took action. 

I got involved.

I joined in.  (GASP)

This morning, after I'd fed the chickens, I assisted in some pumpkin-rumpy-pumpy.

Once some 'ladeez' were spotted, I selected the healthiest (and best looking let's be honest) male to be seen and helped them get jiggy with it (eyes closed of course!).  Finger's crossed my 'intervention' sees some results.....

I must note that these pumpkins are survivors - they have come up on their own so I'm hoping they know what they are doing cos I wouldn't have planted them this close to autumn with the expectation of success.....will just have to wait and see.....