Going nuts: a beginners guide

This weekend gone I ventured back to a time long, long ago when I didn't have a care in the world....back to a time of running barefoot through the paddock, climbing trees, dodging cow poo (I grew up on a farm - stay with me here)...and cracking nuts.  Fresh homegrown macadamia nuts, freshly fallen from the tree down the back - picked up before they have a chance to be macerated by the mower on its weekly rounds.

Here's how it goes...

,,,gather together your equipment: nuts (essential), hammer, relatively sunny spot of concrete...preferably with a little divet-hole like aperture just right for holding said nut.  Don't panic though, a few good hits with the hammer and voila! you have your own!

Don't forget to wear your ugg boots - it's cold out this time of year.  Gloves also would be a good idea.  Keep them fingerless though or there'll be a serious chance of hammer slippage and there could well be an injury (swearing too, if you're anything like me).

Now get crackin!  

 Watch out for these secret split ones - where the split comes where your fingers are holding (but of course it does!) and pinches you without a thought.  These once you're allowed to eat. With revenge and relish.  That's the rules.  You're also allowed to eat the ones that get squashed by any form of over-zealous hammering.  Watch out for your thumb though.  That'll hurt when you hammer that.

At the end, you'll have a container with a healthy amount of cracked nuts ready for...cooking, looking at...eating....

...right after you get the broom and sweep up the mess you made.  You really don't want someone to step on a half-cracked macadamia shell in their bare feet (not that anyone would be in bare feet this time of year but I'm just saying) - especially not yourself!

Ta-dah!