Dump lip

WARNING: This is not a pretty post.  It is quite embarrassing, a little disgusting and yet very funny.  Trust me, I know, it happened to me.  And I'm still laughing.

This is not dump lip.....

Firstly, some background information.....
On the first Sunday of every month our local dump (refuse tip/ waste transfer station - whatever you call it - to me it's the dump) gives away free mulch.  This mulch comes from all the greenwaste people dump at the dump - all chewed up and mulched.  It then sits in a pile (big pile) for a month, composting away, until freebie Sunday.  


When you go to get a load you are given a piece of paper that has the potential to scare you off it - may contain noxious weeds, metal, glass, chemicals, household waste etc.  Nonetheless, it is free.  You can't expect great things for free.  And there is some serious heat in that big compost pile - you can see the heat waves coming from the top of it - that surely that will kill the weeds and their seeds ? ? surely.  


Next, setting the scene.....
On the Sunday just gone we went and got a load of dump mulch to put around some trees under which nothing but weeds grow.  Anything to stop the weeds.  On Monday my challenge was to get it out of the trailer and under the trees.


After some amazing trailer manouvering on my part (I have never reversed a trailer before so what better time to have a go than when no one is around to watch and laugh) I got it into position.


Now for the story......
There I was, happily wheelbarrowing stinky dump mulch (it doesn't just stink, it reeks.  It is after all, dump mulch) out of the trailer, making a good dent into the load (it was a BIG load).  I got to the end where I couldn't reach far enough to drag the last couple of barrowloads from the back the trailer into the wheelbarrow (had to use my hands (gloved) because the shovel wouldn't go into it) so I jumped into the trailer with the intention of dragging/pushing/pulling the mulch towards the back of the trailer where I could reach it.


So there I am, crouched on my heels, weight on my hands as I used my body weight to push a big pile away from me.  Unfortunately for me I was getting so close to the end of the task and my body was feeling very tired and worn out that it stopped talking to my brain.  This meant that my feet neglected pass on the message that the trailer floor is smooth tin and the potential for slipping is great.  And that's what happened.  My feet slipped out from under me.  And because  my centre of gravity was forward on my hands as they pushed away the pile of mulch, my face broke my fall.  On the pile of dump mulch.


I jumped up with lightning speed, flicked of my gloves to wipe my eyes - all the while spitting the dump mulch out of my mouth and saying "yuk, dump mulch, dump mulch....eeeewwww'.  Swiftly I made my way upstairs to the bathroom (spitting and swearing all the way - I'm such a delicate flower) to wash my face and survey the damage.  Nothing too bad, just some red marks across my forehead and cheeks to indicate the force with which I face planted and a little blood where my lip had split (and not much blood at that.  I must confess I was like a little kid squeezing my face to make it bleed - you get WAY more sympathy from others if there is blood!).


After making sure that I wasn't permanently disfigured (a frighteningly real possibility - my sister and BIL pulled a bucketful of broken glass and twisted metal out of their last load) I then froze - did the guys working next door see me stack it?  They were awfully quiet when I came upstairs.  Oh no, I bet they saw!  No, surely they didn't see....?  How embarrassing if they did.  


I slunk back down and finished the job.  This time kicking the mulch off the back of the trailer with my feet.  There was not going to be a repeat of the face plant.  


The epilogue.....
Anyway, it's been 4 days now since it happened and I haven't come down with any scary dump disease and my lip has recovered just fine.  The only thing still bruised is my ego but that will come good in time.  This isn't the first time I've done something stupid and it certainly won't be the last ! 


Don't feel bad about laughing - it's a funny story and I haven't stopped laughing at myself.  Neither has the LOML.  He was sympathetic of course (at first) but he laughed almost as hard as I did when I told him.  Just another day in the comedy that is my life.....