Fare-thee-well 2011 (or not, I don't care)

Dear 2011,

Bite me.

I'm glad to see the end of you.

I had such high hopes for you.  2010 ended up a shocker of the worst kind and I was really hoping you would deliver.  But you let me down.  Right from the start you were bad news.  I should have paid more attention then and not been blinded by the rose-coloured glasses I didn't think I was wearing.

Sure you had some good points - though right at the moment I am struggling to think what they were - but on the whole you sucked.  I'm glad you're over.  Floods, financial crises, rain, colder than normal winter, bills that kept coming, appliances that kept shitting themselves.  Truly, I am done.

Let your mate 2012 know that I'm watching.  

My expectations for its success are extremely low.  

Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.

Afterthought:  If you do want to redeem yourself 2011, I have two tickets in tonight's Lotto draw - you know what to do.....

Happy Cakeday!

There are a couple of souls in our family whose birthdays fall days either side of Christmas.  My sister two days before, my nephew two days after.  

Long has it been known that just because Christmas is days away does not mean one much larger gift can be given.  Do that at your own peril.  Nope, there must be two presents, one of which is to be wrapped in birthday wrap and opened on the actual birthday.  Take note.

This year my gift to both was one of sugar, eggs, flour and a whole lot of food colours.  

My sister's.....

(the story behind the cake - a couple of months ago my sister had a new cooktop installed in her kitchen, one that doesn't have a safety light to notify you that the plate is still hot despite being turned off.  She came home from work and dropped all her stuff (handbag included) onto the cooktop and walked away (the bench was full).  It was the smell of burning plastic and the thick black smoke that alerted her.  Hence, the handbag on the hotplate cake)

...and my nephew's.....

(the train is a wind-up one from the cheap shop.  I sized the cake to fit inside the tracks - only just after the addition of the icing - mental note for next time.   The coloured sugar balls were the biggest hit with the under fives)

And in between all that, I squeezed out a couple of christmas cakes, just cos I could.  

Coming up in January is something for the LOML (who is turning the big 4-0 but refuses to admit it!) followed closely by the wedding cake in February at which event I shall also be a matron.....update on the fitting-into-the-dress-by-the-date progress to follow....eeeeek!  There may also be a few more birthday cakes thrown in there for good measure - BIL, niece....it's all under control...really!

And so that was Christmas

Phew.  Another one bites the dust.  Belated Merry Christmas Wishes All!

Christmas for the LOML and I is all about doing as little as possible.  At this time of year we've been working 7 days a week, about 13 hours a day.  So when Christmas Eve comes around,  the alarm clock is turned off, a post-dinner liqueur (or three) is consumed before heading off to bed safe in the knowledge that the phones can't ring in the morning if they're turned off and that Christmas is a lunch do this year so no one will be knocking on the door before 11am at the earliest!

The year we again hosted the Christmas Day festivities - putting on the spread for all and sundry.  I know, I know, why on earth would I offer to host with no time to prepare etc etc.  But I had an ulterior motive (insert evil chuckle here...)  By hosting, I got to crack the champagne in the AM and consume it well into the PM and then the LOML and I got to wave everyone off after the designated drivers shepherded crying, over-tired, sugar-high children into cars and nagged tipsy other-halves keen to continue the merriment to 'just hurry up already'.... and then we walked upstairs and collapsed on the lounge!  Nothing wrong with that at all!  Bwhah-hah-hah-haha!

The weather this year was perfect.  The clouds cleared and the threatened forecast for rain didn't eventuate - truly, it was like summer (hang on, it is summer.  dang it.  everyday should be like this!!!).  We headed outside for the day.  Fold up chairs, gazebo-awning-thing, fold up tables, drinks fridge in the shed, table laden with food.  Perfect.

After lunch and the chaos that was present unwrapping, a tarp was found and set up on the lawn, the hose turned on, bubble bath snaffled from the bathroom and the fun was on.  Memories of childhood summer created right there on a homemade slip-and-dip.

The big boys had their own fun with my nephew's go-cart, built by his father (my brother).  Never mind the fact that Super C has only just turned one and won't be able to experience his cart any time in the near future.....nor that it is more off-road-dirt-buggy than go-cart.....  I don't know if it was coincidence or not but half an hour after the beast was packed up and taken home the police did a drive-by.  Unhappy neighbours maybe?  

And so another year has been and gone and the new year is looming on the horizon.  The fridge is groaning with leftovers, the bin is stinky with prawn shells (ewwwwww!!!) and the countdown is now on for next weekend's celebrations to farewell 2011.  

I think I'm getting old.  I don't know if I have it in me.... :)

In My Kitchen: December 2011

Joining Celia and her 'In My Kitchen' posts - head on over to Fig Jam & Lime Cordial and join the fun....

In My Kitchen this month.....

......are some newly acquired big glass jars for my pantry.  Found on a bottom shelf at the cheap shop they are surprisingly good quality.  Only four (one yet to be filled) but they are all mine and will go a long way to keeping my flour fresh.  I'm keeping my eye out for more - they are a great size.

In My Kitchen....

.....the cake decorating tools are out in preparation for the creation of my sister's birthday cake for her birthday on Thursday.  Photos to follow....I can't reveal too many details in case she peeks!  I've a busy time ahead of me with another 3 cakes to bake and decorate in the next 6 weeks - two birthday cakes and a two tiered wedding cake - whilst also working full-time.  Hmmmm....time to work on my time management skills!

In My Kitchen.....

.......is the lovely letter I received from my 8 year old niece the other day.  She is such a loving and thoughtful little girl and she makes me smile every time I see her.  She also did one for the LOML though his was addressed to Crazy Uncle Phil!  Love her!

In My Kitchen.....

.....is the only Christmas decoration I could be bothered putting up at home this year.  No tinsel around the house, no wreaths on the front door, no fairy lights.  I feel like the Grinch.  One little Christmas tree on the end of the dining table is enough.  Truly, we are now nine days out and I am already looking forward to the end of it.  I don't know how many more times I can hear Santa Baby or Jingle Bell Rock at the shop without doing my head in.

In My Kitchen....

.....are the small saucepan (I'm sure it has a more fancy name than that!) and small demitasse (??) cups for the LOML's latest obsession - Greek coffee with his breakfast.  I was given detailed instructions from our friend Toula on how to make it and I'm pleased to say that I think I've mastered it, though a not-as-strong version as instructed!!  The little cups are from our shop - made for Thai tea but they are similar to the ones the LOML drank out of in Lebanon so they'll do nicely!

That's it for this month in my kitchen.  December is a horribly busy/ long houred one for the LOML and I (we have a gift shop), and I always get halfway through (about now) and start counting down the days till it's over.  Not the best attitude to have I know but with these long days I am starting to feel run down and tired.  I've started upping my dose of vitamin C each morning as a preventative and am making sure I get to bed early (as opposed to sitting on the computer reading blogs!).  I am looking forward to Christmas Day if only for the sleep in.  Pity the person who calls early and wakes me up!  That being said, my internal alarm clock will no doubt have me up and about not long after dawn anyway but it's the knowledge that I don't have to get up that will leave me refreshed and alert  :)

Merry Christmas In-My-Kitchen-ers!

When good ideas go bad

It was a good idea.  In theory.  

It was the putting it into practice part that let us down.  That and the massive downpour of rain that had not long stopped when we got there that left the ground squishy and squashy and the water still running down the hill towards the lake forming at the bottom.

But, as the LOML says, once you commit to a solution, you can't pull out halfway into it.  And the commitment had been made.  Hence the outcome.

Luckily, my mum eventually answered her phone and was able to drive down (45mins one way no less) to pick us up.

That was on Sunday.  Today, three days later and no rain in between, we went down to pick the van up thinking the mud would have dried and it would be a simple case of driving on out.

Quite obviously the van and the mud had other ideas.  

Hopefully our neighbour and his 4WD will be free over the weekend to drive down and tow us out.

Some days all you can do is laugh.  Otherwise you'd cry.

Stuff it

Remember my Monster Zucchini Club entrant?  Well that sucker, as suggested by Linda, was stuffed and served for dinner the next night.

I've never stuffed a zucchini before.  Sure, I've left a few on the plant a few days too many so they were effectively stuffed (as in, not good for anything other than the chooks) but I've never actively gone out of my way to literally stuff one for dinner.

Not to let that put me off, I gave it a good hard go.

And surprisingly, it turned out quite tasty!

The photo really doesn't do it any justice....it really was very yummy!

I chose to stuff my marrow with some roasted sweet potato and a little pumpkin (courtesy of my mum's winning fruit tray in a raffle she entered - she was on a winning streak because we also scored two meat trays in the same week as well.  But that's another story) plus some fetta and sundried tomato flavoured couscous to accompany the scooped out zucchini shell.  Topped with cheese, baked till golden and delicious, and then drizzled with some Asian flavoured chilli sauce, this little sucker will be seen again this summer for sure!

A good thing too, because the rain of this last week has seen another monster appear on the zucchini plant.  This one even bigger if you would believe it!  I think it will be salted (to draw out the moisture), sliced and dried into zucchini chips.  Apparently delicious with hummus....!

This is summer? Really?

Today is the 6th (official) day of summer and this is what is the go in my lounge room.

A fire.  Complete with surrounding fire hazards but that's not the point (the fireplace becomes a handy storage area outside of winter).

The point is that last night saw two doonas added to the bed and then today I had to dig out the tights and jacket from the depths of the cupboard to wear to work.

What's going on?  This is summer for crying out loud!

Add to that the 5.4 earthquake over in Western Australia and the 'newly found' fault line up in north Queensland and I'm seriously considering stocking up on canned goods, building a bunker and retreating to higher ground.  

I think the doomsdayers may be right.  The world is coming to an end.

Either that or Australia is heading for the ice age and endless winters.

Where is my warm weather and sunny days?  

I have veggies to grow and fruit to pick.  Not to mention my new sandals and summer frocks just waiting to be worn.

Don't make me move closer to the equator.....

Operation Matron Dress: Week 1

Phew, what a week.  One down, eleven to go.  This week could have been a whole lot better - I certainly had higher expectations for myself but rather than let that get me down I'm resolving to get it better next week.  One step at a time and all.  

This week was all about the sugar detox.  Despite my idealised notions that I don't consume all that much sugar in my day, clearly I was kidding myself in the biggest possible way!  I spent the first four days with a killer headache pounding its little heart out behind my left eye before I cottoned onto the fact that I had also given up the caffiene cold-turkey and perhaps that was the cause.....half a can of DC later and headache was gone.  Terrible.  Next week - cut out the DC.

Saved by the carrot.  (Photo credit)

I also ate the world this week.  Well, I could have.  I was soooo hungry.  Hungry for all the sweet, not-on-the-approved-no-sugar-list - chocolate cake, macadamia biscuits, ice cream.  Of course.  Instead I stuffed myself full of cheese and crackers and carrots.  Lots and lots of carrots.  My go-to food when all I want is what I can't have and my brain fog won't let me come up with a suitable alternative in a hurry.  If in doubt, make it orange.  Next week should be better after I've gone shopping.  Mental note for future lifestyle/diet overhauls: fill the fridge with good stuff before you start.

I started the week off well with taking my own lunch to work.  I even had a whole little stash of non-sugar snicky-snacks to get me through the afternoon.  Worked well until about Wednesday when the cupboard was bare and the fridge was empty and the inspiration was flagging.  Must go shopping asap and restock.

I haven't done so well with the exercise this week.  None actually.   I have plenty of reasons but no excuses really.  The headaches for the first few days saw me locking myself in the dark bedroom for an hour or so as soon as I got home from work.  The LOML and I have also been putting in some stupid hours at the shop - it's not called the silly season for nothing - so that is impacting on my opportunities to get on the treadmill.  I have to make this a real priority for these next three weeks especially - if I don't exercise now when I'm flat out working there will be no chance I exercise in the new year when things slow down a little....

On the good news front, my water consumption this week reached all time high levels.  Impressive for me because working all day every day in air-conditioning that is set to freezing doesn't inspire me to maintain my hydration levels.  But I persevered and and came out trumps.  Combined with the lack of sugar, my skin is now clearer than it has been in a very long time (major outbreak earlier in the week - getting the bad stuff out maybe?), I'm sleeping the whole night through (BIG thing for me - I usually wake up 2-3 times a night) and I'm not getting the three-thirty-itis sweet cravings.  I'm also finding that my appetite is reduced - I'm not as hungry as I was earlier in the week and I seem to fill up much quicker.  Nice.

So here's to next week and keeping on top of the sugar, making more lunches and getting some form of exercise routine happening!

My contribution to the Monster Zucchini Club

So it seems my garden, in particular my zucchini plant, caught wind of the fact that other zucchini plants out there in the big wide world (eg Fiona's and Ali's) were producing some better-than-decent sized fruits and decided to one-up them all.

Ladies and gentlemen of the panel I give you......

....the All Litten Up Monster Zucchini Contender!!!!  [round of applause please]

Thank you.  Thank you very much.  I couldn't have done it without much ignorance, neglect and a few days rain.   Thanks.

As gloriously large as it is, I have serious doubts as to its palatability (is that even a word?).  I think it may just find its way straight into the scrap bucket.  Pity.  It does look nice though.  

One for the fellas.

Tonight my sister handed me the latest junk mail catalogue from the Shaver Shop.  

This page was towards the end...

Clearly, the hair free man is all the rage this December.  

As disconcerting as it was to see a picture of a male model with a shaving implement so close to his tender bits (careful!), it was this bit that left me lost for words.....(go on, click on it and make it bigger - no pun intended!)

The guffawing and not-for-young-ears-jokes that my sister and I then went on with sparked the attention of my too-smart-for-her-own-good 8-year-old niece who will no doubt be digging this catalogue out and trying to work out what we were laughing at.  And then asking her mother questions that shouldn't be asked for a couple of years yet.

I'm lost for words.

And I'm still laughing.

Operation Matron Dress: The Plan

So I have about 12 weeks to get myself toned up, trimmed down and able to fit into this dress.....

Plenty of time you say?  Well for me, most likely just enough.  

Not that I have that much weight I need to lose but 12 weeks allows for one false start, a few slip-ups, a whole lot of potential disaster in the form of Christmas and New Years, as well as 6 weeks of hard-core work hours which will seriously test my commitment to regular, heart-beat raising exercise (gift shop + Christmas + boxing day sales = long days + hard work + minimal free time).

With that in mind, I have a Plan.  A Plan that I will now share with the world because once shared it remains in the social consciousness and I am honour-bound to uphold it.  I'm like that. A healthy dose of guilt does marvels for commitment to a cause.

So here goes....my Plan of action in order to reach a successful outcome for Operation Matron Dress.....

• No added sugar.  That means no honey on toast for brekky, no mid-afternoon bikkie snack, no chocolate after dinner and definitely no ice-cream.  Oh, and no soft drink.  Not even the diet ones.
• More water.  I figure that without the soft-drinks this will be easy.  I just need to make sure my water bottle is always full.  And with me.  That helps.
• Make my own lunch to take to work.  I know, terrible that I don't do this already.  The carvery in the food court will see a significant decrease in their sales with this one but packing my own lunch will mean I can load up on healthier snacks to get me through the day.  Also, I'll be saving myself $5.20 by making my own egg and lettuce sandwich.  Yes that's right.  I am being extorted each day for two slices of bread, some (not a lot by any stretch of the imagination) mashed egg, and a sprinkling of 'passed it's prime' lettuce.  Time to change that.
• Cardio at least 3 afternoons a week.  I will pilfer my niece's skipping rope, I will somehow permanently plug the treadmill in (not as easy as it sounds - power was cut to the shed where it lives so plugging it in involves a whole lot of extension cord to reach the nearest power outlet), I will walk the block during a lunch break.  I will ride my bike to the shop.  Or I'll walk.  Basically I will move.  As opposed to the sitting that currently goes on.
• I will do some form of resistance work.  Squats behind the counter.  Lunges across the yard.  Step-ups on the back stairs.  If I can wrangle it I will get the weights gym out of the shed on our investment property and into our shed up here sooner rather than later.  And I will set it up and use it (the most important part).  
• And most importantly, I will report to the world my Operation status.  Nothing like an obligation to fess up and share my progress to motivate me to achieve.  Once a week I plan.  Shouldn't be able to hide anything that way.

Here goes..... 

Och. Mein. Gott.

Earlier in the year a lady I met through our shop who told me she was getting married in the new year.  She's 75 and getting married for the second time (her first husband passed away a number of years ago) to a lovely man she met through her volunteer work selling raffle tickets for the Mater Children's Hospital.  She was wanting to know if I knew a cake decorator who could make her cake.  I put up my hand and offered my services.  She was stoked. 

Fast forward a couple of months and I'd managed to narrow her down on style, size, shape and colours etc for the cake - everything was going to plan.

Then it sort of went pear shaped for her.  Her fiance's family, for one reason or another, have all pulled out of the wedding leaving the bridal party one matron short (can't call them bridesmaids when they're all married now can you).  So the hunt was on for a replacement.

I was nominated, asked and added to the bridal party in quick succession.  Happy days.

Today I received the dress.  

Made to fit the redundant family member who is clearly not as hippy nor as busty as I am, I have my work cut out for me in order for it to fit.  I do have the option (which will be happening regardless) of letting out a few seams but they are not that generous to start with so the only other option remaining for me is some serious exercise and some really serious watching what I'm eating until the wedding.  That and some hardcore body slimming underwear as well.

So there you have it.  I have been looking for something to motivate me to stick to an exercise plan and to encourage me to eat better for longer than a couple of weeks (my won't-power is seriously weak) and the potential to be immortalised for all time in someone's wedding photos wearing a dress that clings in the most unflattering way around my thighs (shiny tafetta no less!!!) is enough to scare the bejeezus out of me and get me on that wagon as quick as I can!

I'm hoping the approaching silly season and its myriad of temptations won't destroy my plans too much (my family are notorious for putting on the most sugar-laden, high-fat spreads known to man so I'm scared.  Very scared.)

Anyone have any suggestions for exercises to tone up and trim down the maximus gluteous?  

Purpose

Legian Beach, Bali 2008

The other night the LOML had a dream.

        Ok-ay....

He had a dream where he was talking to God.

       Ooookkkk-aaaayyyy.

God asked him a question.  

        'What is the purpose of your life?'

Not 'what is the meaning of your life?'.  Not what is the meaning of life in general but what is the purpose of your life.

I found it quite spooky that the LOML had this dream.  Not that he was talking to God, spooky in that he remembered his dream when he woke up and then told me about it hours later.  I'm flat out remembering what I had for breakfast let along remembering what I dreamt about.

Spooky because for the last few weeks I have been pondering this very point.  Mulling over it in my mind again and again, arguing with myself, talking to myself, going around and around in circles on the same topics, usually while trying to go to sleep at night.

I don't have children.  I'm not going to have children.  And just recently, for one reason or another, I've had a minor crisis regarding my purpose, my point of existence, my reason for existing if it's not to procreate and populate the world.    

Don't get me wrong, I'm not in any way down with my life or my decision not to have kids but just recently I've felt super different from everyone around me.  Different in a not-so-good way.  Different enough to make me feel on the outer, to make me feel not part of the club.

I don't mind not being part of this particular club.  Truly, it's my choice and one I am happy living with.  But sometimes, like now, I wonder what, if I'm not being a mother, is my point?

Hmmmmm.

I don't like feeling like this.

The LOML, in response to God's question, replied that I was his purpose for living (awww, love him) as was travel and experiencing.

I think that works for me too but I'm sure there's more.  More to it.  More to me.  More to my reasons for being like I am, thinking like I do.

Sometimes I feel like I'm running out of time to work out what it is I want to do with my life, who I want to be when I grow up, where I want to end up.  

Sometimes it all just overwhelms me.

In My Kitchen: November 2011

Joining Celia and her 'In My Kitchen' posts - head on over to Fig Jam & Lime Cordial and join the fun....




In My Kitchen.....

......is a foodsaver vacuum thing scored courtesy of Melbourne Cup winnings.  Nice.  This will be a godsend when it comes to tomato drying time (mmmm....semi dried tomatoes.....) and finding a way to store all my creations, not to mention the storing of everything else - zucchinis, beans, peas, bananas, apples, apricots - the list is endless!

In My Kitchen....

....are my nicely tidied 'pantry' shelves.  I don't have a pantry as such so everything is on show on some make-do shelves until such time as the kitchen fairy visits and leaves me with a nice big cupboard with doors.  What that means in the meantime is that I really have to be tidy with my putting away and storing.  Unfortunately tidy and I don't agree so this morning I pulled everything off the shelves, and then tidied and restacked in some form of order.  How long it will stay like this I'm not sure but it looks better for the moment.  All I need to do now is work out what to cook to use up the 5 packets of pasta shells I found hidden at the back!  (note:  this was a tidying exercise, not cleaning, so don't look too closely at the dirty walls!)

In My Kitchen....

......is my chilli painting precariously perched on the mantle above the wood stove.  One day soon I will get up and actually hang it but in the meantime the spiders webs are holding it in place quite nicely!  I love this painting.  The LOML brought it back for me on one of his buying trips to Indonesia a couple of years ago - just for me.  It is the first thing I see as I enter the kitchen and it brings a smile to my face every morning.


In My Kitchen....

......are a couple of buckets full of dried broad beans waiting to be shelled, dried a little more in the dehydrator before being packed and sealed and stored away.  




In My Kitchen....

....is some Asafoetida Powder I picked up at the spice stall at the Sunday Markets.  This is the one ingredient I have been missing from my Indian recipes - it will be interesting to see the difference it will make to the taste.




In My Kitchen....

.....is the latest batch of seedlings sprouting on the windowsill.  These are broccoli.  For some reason I had in my head that they are a winter crop (?).  Maybe they are and I'm a little ahead of myself.  Either way I'll give them a go and see what happens.




In My Kitchen....

....are a selection of seeds which will make their way into a tasty seedy bread.  Breads.  That's a whole lotta seeds right there!




And finally, In My Kitchen....

.....are some butterbeans, snap beans (can't see them) and some peas picked with my niece and nephew yesterday.  I love fresh green beans eaten straight from the bush.  They have a taste like nothing else I know and take me back to when I was 8 years old and would lie on my back between the rows of beans (mum and dad grew a commercial size crop one year on our farm) looking up to the blue sky and breathing in the earthy aroma of freshly watered soil whilst munching on beans picked straight from the bush.  Ahhh the memories!

Corner Shop Wisdom

Our corner shop - the one further down the road, not just down the road (they're rude and I won't reward their lack of service) - has a chalkboard out the front on the footpath that they regularly write some pearls of wisdom on.

Their pearls are rippers.

So good that I have to share them as they come up.

Today's nugget of gold....

'The only reason people get lost in thought is because they are in unfamiliar territory'

Hahahaha - cracks me up! 

Ugggghhhhhh!

I don't do snakes.

At all.

So you can imagine my horror when I spotted this....

A snake skin, just the one, coming out of the drainpipe, into the side of the house and then back out again.

One snake skin.

Uggggghhhhhh!  [insert massive, goose-pimply shudder here]

I don't do snakes.

* note: this photo was taken from a substantial, 'safe' distance away.  Thank the sweet Lord for telephoto capabilities on my camera.

The Burn

Given that the weather has warmed up significantly over this last week, clothing options have now moved into the shorts/skirts and shirt variety.  And given that I was almost reduced to tears the other morning when the 3/4 pants I bought and wore quite comfortably for the entirety of last summer now resemble spray on legs, the time has come for some serious weight reduction exercises.

I've probably left it a bit late (truly the intention was there - I think I started psyching myself up and attempting to start this months ago) but better late than never.  And truly, there is no time like right now. 

With that in mind I have this week been giving the treadmill a definite workout (oh, how unfit am I!) and yesterday included a whole 'across the yard and back again' set of lunges.  I tell ya, I thought my legs were burning afterwards but that ain't nothing like the burn I've got going today!  Walking is slow and steady with a bit of a saddle-sore gait and as for sitting down gracefully, well, that's more like an inelegant fall.  Don't even get me started on the getting up and down the back stairs (who chose a highset house?).

But one mustn't complain.  No pain, no gain.  One must embrace the burn and celebrate it for it's powers of buttock firming and centimetre losing.  

Sigh.

And now to go and do it all again.  And again.  And again.  Owwwww!