So it seems my garden, in particular my zucchini plant, caught wind of the fact that other zucchini plants out there in the big wide world (eg Fiona's and Ali's) were producing some better-than-decent sized fruits and decided to one-up them all.
Ladies and gentlemen of the panel I give you......
....the All Litten Up Monster Zucchini Contender!!!! [round of applause please]
Thank you. Thank you very much. I couldn't have done it without much ignorance, neglect and a few days rain. Thanks.
As gloriously large as it is, I have serious doubts as to its palatability (is that even a word?). I think it may just find its way straight into the scrap bucket. Pity. It does look nice though.